Salesman can really be a
pain in the neck on a dairy farm. Especially now
that they confuse things by calling themselves
Nutritionists and Consultants. We (the dairy
farmers) have to be polite to them for at least a
little while until we figure out if they are a new
milk inspector or from the government.
A few years back, we were milking 300 cows. No
other dairyman within a wide radius was anywhere
nearly as big. Just driving by, it looked like we
were making money. We were drawing 'em (salesmen)
like flies to molasses. Salesmen literally lined up
in the driveway on some days. They drove in and out
all day long and called on the phone at noon and
all through the evening hours. At that time, I was
very polite and spent lots of time with them.
On a hot day, one of these salesman probably had
a bad day selling blue silos prior to arriving at
our farm because his patter wasn't as smooth as
usual.
I was in the holding area with seven or eight
fresh heifers that had all calved in the last 48
hrs and never been through the parlor. The heifers
were going around in the holding area like
motorcycles inside a barrel. Manure was flying and
it was hot. We were getting them milked but it was
real tough.
That's when the blue silo salesmen unexpectedly
stepped up to the back gate of the holding area and
started pointing out the disadvantages of bunker
silos.
I said something like: "Hey!, We LIKE bunker
silos!. Can't you see those three big bunker silos
right over there and that row of old dump trucks!"
The silo salesman lost his cool and shouted
back: "It's dumb xxxx'x like you that make it so
hard for me to sell blue silos."
I stepped through the man pass and out of the
building. There was a frostfree hydrant right there
with 125 feet of water hose neatly coiled up beside
it.
I grabbed the hose and cooled off the blue silo
salesman. He took off running down the drive toward
his car. I ran along beside him, hoseing him all
the way. Loop after loop of the hose uncoiled
flawlessly so I had plenty of hose left while he
rolled up his windows and locked his doors.
The word must have got around a bit since we
didn't have quite as much trouble with them
(Salesmen/Consultants/Nutritionists) for a few
months.
Nowadays I don't chase them as a general rule,
but I'm not very polite either. My current strategy
is to stretch up to all 6' 5", fix 'em with a
stoney gaze, and reply with grunts.
-end-
